Yesterday was such a beautiful day for Tatum and I. The morning started off a bit rocky... I wasn't feeling well yet was scheduled to have the occupational therapist over to help with Tatum's inability to feed herself. I ended up cancelling because of how I was feeling but also because Tatum's self feeding wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't in the mood for a reminder of how little progress we had made in this category. In any event, Tatum and I got to spend a nice quiet day together, just the two of us. We played and crawled and walked and used the swing. We did a bit of masking, which we hadn't done in a while and she really seemed to enjoy it! We also used Tatum's choice board successfully for the first time in a while. The day was definitely turning around - then came snack time. I put about 20 raspberries in a bowl with some almond butter coating them for Tatum to eat. As I've been doing for the past 6 months, I hold the spoon with food on it away from Tatum's mouth and wait for her to come and get it. Normally she leans in and grabs the food with her mouth but today she grabbed the spoon with her right hand and jammed it into her mouth! Sweet victory!!! She repeated this action with every berry until her bowl was empty and her chair was covered and she was satiated! I was in tears of joy... sobbing... proud.
This action of Tatum feeding herself meant so much to both of us in so many ways. It is such an act of independence to be able to feed oneself, to take care of yourself. For me, it was also a step towards some form of freedom. Currently, I spend an average of 2 1/2 hours each day feeding Tatum... to think that I will get that time back was overwhelming. We are a long way from regular self feeding but we have made the first big step and Tatum is well on her way.
To continually do what feels like the impossible and then succeed with this beautiful child is such a lesson in patience, perseverance and humility.
